Until recently, the German ICE (Inter City Express) trains used recycled toilet paper (you know what I mean – toilet paper made from recycled paper, not toilet paper that’s already been used) . That’s now changed. Inside the toilet door on ICE trains is a poster advertising Charmin, Procter & Gamble’s toilet tissue.
“Time to change” it says. It lets you know that Charmin toilet paper is now available in all ICE trains and that Charmin recently won a test for softness, skin-friendliness, cleaning results (don’t ask how they measured this one) and moisture absorption in comparison with 27 other toilet papers.
The test was carried out by Stiftung Warentest (a consumer protection organisation). Unfortunately, Stiftung Warentest didn’t look at where the raw material for Charmin’s super soft arsewipe comes from. Had they done so they would have found that Procter & Gamble buys eucalyptus pulp from Aracruz Cellulose in Brazil.
Isn’t this just bloody typical? There was no problem with Deutsche Bahn’s recycled toilet paper. Had Deutsche Bahn bothered to look, they would have found that Indigenous People and Quilombolas in Brazil are involved in a land struggle against Aracruz’s eucalyptus monocultures.
How do we in the North justify this one? “We’re sorry to hear that your livelihoods are screwed, your streams have dried up, your land and forests have gone, but we have such tender, delicate bottoms that we just have to have the softest possible toilet paper.”